Restructuring To have a blended story first you have experienced a breakup, a divorce, a death or a family restructuring of some kind. This can happen in many ways, for us it was after the end of previous marriages. Sometimes when a major relationship ends, we can pull back from friends and social media, worried about what others are thinking. We may spend time scouring to see what people are saying and feel like all eyes are on us. The act of changing ones status from married to single or divorced on Facebook can be a very hard thing to do. As adults we have all different kinds of ways to cope with divorce. Anyone who has experienced the restructuring of a family knows that this is a similar process to grieving the death of your previous relationship.
The restructuring of a family is public endeavour, there is always a larger audience that witnesses it and has opinions. Sometimes you loose friends, change friends, and keep friends. During this time of transition, it is important to focus on yourself. You need to understand what is essential for you. You must focus on your children if you have any, they need you, your love, and most of all to know that you are still their for them. Your pets also need attention, they will internalize emotion and feelings much like your children will.
As in all hardships in life we have two choices. We can either be overwhelmed or we can figure out how to move forward and create a positive future. Over the last couple years we have been trying to live out our personal motto: DO YOUR BEST AND LEARN FROM THE REST!
The Kids
Robyn has a fur baby Bentley, who is a nine year old Wheaton Terrier.
Jason has three daughters who are 12, 9, and 5.
Jason has three daughters who are 12, 9, and 5.
Every adult, child, or pet goes through a transition after a family restructures. There are many emotions, experiences and changes to adapt to. We have found that consistency, and love go a long way to help them adjust.
Dating
When you haven't dated in a long time dating can be weird, exciting, and a whole new experience. With our experience dating as adults was very rewarding, we knew who we were as individuals and we found out that we work really well together as a couple.
Introducing The Kids
When you start dating and you only have your children 50% of the time there is a freedom to see each other as a couple. This is most likely a new scenario for you. After a while we wanted to do things with the girls. We started doing fun activities, like taking Bentley for a walk, baking, having a picnic or watching a movie with popcorn and snacks.
As with any relationship with 2 adults and 3 children things are not always smooth or as they appear in a Hollywood movie. However we have been fortunate to have a very positive time together as a family. Our struggles have helped us learn and grow. Trying to keep healthy communication open has been difficult at times. This has lead us to develop an interactive journal for children of divorce, which we will be launching in a Kickstarter campaign very soon!
Blending
Last summer we got engaged and we are getting married this summer. We are very excited to be formally moving forward with our blended family. Right now we live two and a half hours apart from each other and we have been juggling the joys of a long distance relationship.
Last month we were fortunate enough to be able to go on a trip as just Jason and Robyn. This was our first major holiday. We went to Nuevo Vallarta with friends and had a wonderful week. We feel very strongly that it is important for us to constantly work on our relationship. Being that we have a long distance relationship right now we often spend late nights staying up just talking on Fridays when we see each other. We have identified it is important to do things as a couple and we are fine with just doing things as the two of us. Even though we may go away together we still keep in contact with the girls. We want to share our experience with them.
This brief look at our story is part of what has lead us to create Our Blended Story and be on the verge of publishing our first book to help other children through a difficult transition in life. We have witnessed the positive effects that our efforts have had with our children. We look forward to sharing more about Our Blended Story and hearing more from you.
